Terrell Neasley -Live and in person

Terrell - 010212

Last week I was in Las Vegas and got to meet long-time blog friend, Terrell.  He is a successful photographer based in Las Vegas.  On top of all the commercial and portrait work he photographs, Terrell is also an amazing fine art photographer.  You can see his work at his blog, Photo Anthems. 

We met for lunch one day over Mediterranean food and talked about art, photography, photographing nudes, erotic work, and the challenges of everything.  I learned a great bit about his style, vision, and Las Vegas.  After lunch, Terrell headed off to a photo shoot. 

A few days later I met up with Terrell again in a local camera store where I snapped the photo above.  We talked about gear, salivated over new equipment, and chatted a bit more about art.  At the end of it, I was glad to have met another blog world friend in the real world.  I hope to see him again soon on my next visit to Las Vegas.

Below is a reprint of my interview with Terrell from 2010. 

I often find great blogs by looking at the one's  recommended by other blog friends.  One such found treasure is Photo Anthems Blog created by Terrell Neasley.  I greatly appreciate his blog for its blend of art, photography, great writing and humor.

Terrell is the closest (geographically)blogger to me.  He lives in Las Vegas, NV.  That may sound like a trivial fact, but  I feel a western US bond to his work, stories, and history.   As I read others' writings about the art scene, weather, and stories of the northern mid-west, east, and south, I learn about their special corner of the country.  When I read Terrell's camping stories, see his photos of  women and the the scenery, I get a feeling of familiarity and home since I've shared similar experiences.

Terrell's life is an interesting story and shows in his life beliefs and art.  I highly recommend you go to his blog and website (photoanthems.com) to learn more about him.  It is well worth it.  His photography is beautiful and a highlight of my online perusing.  I hope one day to get to meet him on a trip to LV.

Here are the questions.  Thanks for the answers.  They are greatly appreciated.

1. What is your favorite word? Altruism
2. What is your least favorite word? Normal
3. What turns you on? A naked woman
4. What turns you off? Clothes!....kidding...People who don't take responsibility for themselves and pass the blame.
5. What sound or noise do you love? Bacon sizzling in the morning would be the least crass answer
6. What sound or noise do you hate? Its a tie between a high-pitched nagging voice and an alarm clock
7. What is your favorite curse word? Fuck
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Probably acting, but I used to dream about playing football
9. What profession would you not like to do? There are plenty but I'm going with Nursing. I've got much respect for them, but its not my gift.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Come on....Get your butt on in here!
11. What is your idea of perfect happiness? Traveling the world with boundless resources and a model that I photograph everywhere, all the time
12. What is your greatest fear? I honestly can't say I have one. I mean, I certainly don't want to be eaten by an alligator or fall from the empire state building but they are not fears of mine that I think about all the time. 
13. Which historical figure do you most identify with? Galileo Galilei, just because he's the only person I can think of who was also misunderstood.
14. Which living person do you most admire? Other than family....Billy Graham, Chris St. James, and Bill Cosby (How can you stick with just one?)
15. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Procrastination
16. What is the trait you most deplore in others? Lack of integrity
17. What is your greatest extravagance? I spent $400 on comic books once, but I've since sold my collection and not bought another since 1994, I think.
18. On what occasion do you lie? When I have to take into account someone else's feelings and the truth is not worth the heartache or when I need to be polite because I need the business.
19. What do you dislike most about your appearance? I'm actually cool with myself. If I had to say any one thing its that I look mean when I am not smiling.
20. When and where were you happiest? Christmas at Mama Carrie's as a kid
21. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? I'd be kinder to people and more understanding
22. If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be? Me. That's all I have control over.
23. What do you consider your greatest achievement? Jeremy and Cassie
24. If you died and came back as a person or thing what do you think it would be? As a person: A white female, just so I could experience the opposite of my current self. As far as a thing, I'd want to be a star just for the billions of years galactic experience 
25. What is your most treasured possession? My faith
26. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? A disapproval of yourself because of someone else's opinion
27. Who are your heroes in real life? My Mother, 
28. What is it that you most dislike? A coward
29. How would you like to die? Old age preferably, but if not, then on my feet in a way that makes it count
30. What is your motto? Stay alert, Stay alive! Hooooah!

*Winter Solstice

Moon 122111

**Winter Solstice -
I love the long darkness that is broken by short daylight illuminating a desaturated gray, white, black and muted colors world. 
I love the cold expressions of the earth - steam rising off the water, a dog's breath visible with every pant, the shivers of the people in line for the bus.
I enjoy this day when we are all the same gray beings shuffling about in our gloved lives. 
I see the world and all living things as they are - naked of pretense, color, or spark for at this time we exist to move toward the lighter longer days. 
Tomorrow is when every day will start getting longer and people come back to color, life,  purpose, pretension of what is going to sprout from the sky's warm light. 
Instead, this is the day when all pretension of the earth is stripped bare, we are naked of rich beauty and exposed as the raw, unadorned bones and leafless trees.

Hazy Shade of Winter - Paul Simon

Hang on to your hopes, my friend
That's an easy thing to say, but if your hope should pass away
It's simply pretend
That you can build them again  

I know the winter solstice was yesterday. I enjoyed its dark beauty.

Dividing the "intrinsicals"

Candace - 121811

Which are yours to keep
my snow, your sun, the in-betweens
lie on the table.

NY again

Unique Forms of Continuity in Space - Umberto Boccioni - MoMA - 112211

I got back Monday from a four night trip to New York.  This was not a work trip, nor a photography class trip.  This was a "me" trip.

During my extended break of the last two months,  I traveled with and to see family twice.  I got to do a lot of alone traveling up to Montana, but the family was part of it.  I needed this trip, my trip.  My trip to be alone and let myself choose the paths of the day.  I had to take this trip because I probably wont have a block of time off like this ever again.  I rarely take big trips for myself. 

My hotel was near Penn Station on 29th St.  Nothing fancy, but was clean, had free breakfasts, and convenient to multiple subways.  I went to many museums, walked all over the city in beautiful autumn weather, visited a few places again that I needed to feel a part of and explored a few new ones.

I did not give myself any city photographic assignments while their except one. I knew I was going to see lots of the city so I was sure I would photograph something.  I visited one neighborhood with a special name that I wanted to visit for years.   My one photographic city theme I self-assigned was personal, deeply personal.

I photographed two models separately, Megan and Valya.  Valya referred Megan for a special project I am working on.  We had a short thirty minute session where I got what I needed.  Megan did a great job and was pleasant to work with.

My session with Valya was an artistic gift, as always.  I will post a few photos from our session and write about it in a few days.

This trip turned very personal for me during my wanderings about town.  I had time to think of the city, my life, my choices, and who I am.  I didn't get many answers, but at least I found some questions I can stop asking.  I also realized that somethings are still too close to push into the past.

I left Monday to return home.  As I got into the taxi to go to JFK, I realized I was at a border moment of my own.  I had to either go home to San Francisco that moment or I would need to leave my California life, and all it held, and lose myself in the sea of anonymity and clean slates that New York could provide.  At that moment, I thought about cancelling the cab and walking away to disappear.  New York does that to me.

New York isn't self destructive for me.  Every time I go there I get pulled into a world where no one knows me, has expectations of me, or really even cares about me.   We all coexist, weaving in and out of each others' lives on the sidewalks, in the subways, and through out our days in the city.  Even though we see each other and may even say something like "excuse me", our lives will probably never intersect again and the mutual anonymity keeps our hearts quiet and private.   In a way, that is more liberating than anything I have felt in my life - to feel the world let go of me and just let me be.

Ides of August Light

Reeds - 081811

The ides of August light turn subtly smokey and yellow crimson.
These first signs of the coming solstice are still warm
yet the darkness of the coming decline into long nights
brings thoughts of my own path down the hill
I will never go up again.

The brilliant moon rises too, marking time
to reap what I sow, to harvest
my bounty
my sins
my pleasures
my toils
my burdens
my rutted field
and place the harvest away for the coming solstice to feed and bleed upon in the dark nights.

The leaves subtly a shade less green, less alive, pushes
thoughts of my own waning lighted candle
growing so soft it has no purpose.

The rustle of the wind in the drying trees
blows through me as well, warm from the hot late summer day
but will grow cold as my heart slows to a nullified quiet, my thoughts fade to grey

and my path ends at an early sunset on a winter's snowy park bench.

Secrets, brilliant disguises, masks, and façades.

Candace Nirvana - 070211

If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. - Kahlil Gibran

I just read a post over at What We Saw Today by my friend Carla titled Secrets.  I recommend reading her post.  To summarize it, she shared some personal information with someone who betrayed her with the secret.  This reminds me of why we all keep secrets and must be careful with whom we share our most personal details.

I wrote a bit about façades and how we build up fake fronts to hide what is inside of us.  I think we also build safe rooms in our hearts and brains where we keep the most intimate secrets buried.  I've bared only parts of my safe room to a very few.  Nobody has burned me horribly, but I've had some bumps along the way.  Nobody, but me (and depending on views on God) knows all my secrets.

Secrets are made to be found out over time. - Charles Sanford

There were two people I shared a bit with that didn't hurt me, but never forgot a word I said.  Even months and years later, both will mention a shared nugget or two at relevant times.  I am not sure if they do that to show they have power over me with the secret or to show they were listening and remember what I shared and care for me.  It may be a mixture of both.  This reminds me of why during biblical times God, and other characters, were hesitant to share their names.  By knowing some one's name you had power over him or her.  Similarly, by knowing a person's deep secret, you have large power over them as well.

What is love? Love is when one person knows all of your secrets... your deepest, darkest, most dreadful secrets of which no one else in the world knows... and yet in the end, that one person does not think any less of you; even if the rest of the world does. - unknown

I recently had a falling out with someone (person A).  We "de-friended" on Facebook and cut other ties as well.  We still have common online friends and that is where the pixel forest fog comes in.  I wrote a status update on Facebook about an event that we and another friend had in common.  An hour later I got a Facebook private message from the shared friend (person B) that was meant for  person A, not me.  It had my FB quote, sort of trashed me and made a few jokes.

I don't know what hurt more,  that person A told person B about the falling out or that person B, a shared friend, was spying and relaying information back to person A.  The fact that all of this is happening online is not new, this type of coy spying has been going on for ages.  I remember these types of shenanigans going on in junior high, but now it happens in the pixel forest as well.

I purposefully keep things secret.  Some are to protect myself, loved ones, family, friends, and other interests.  I kept my name secret on my old blog out of fear of how my photography and dark and/or erotic thoughts could harm me.  I now own this blog and use my name, but no longer share those parts and only some of my photography for the same reason.   I have a separate day job and multiple lives I live and need to protect.

I was once talking to a friend about how our personal universes were shaped.  Hers was one big sphere where all parts of it swirled around together, colliding, bonding, and separating from each other.  Things were not compartmentalized.  My personal universe is more like a wheel hub with spokes going out.  The only place those spokes may touch is at the center, the hub, or me.  I rarely mix my work life with my art life or my family life or college life or blog life or church life.  If I do let them mix, I try to control the meeting as much as possible and am very nervous during it.  I really hate when those hubs or worlds collide outside of my control.

We dance around a ring and suppose, While the secret sits in the middle and knows - Robert Frost

Why do I keep such strict separation between these parts of me?  Part of it is that I know the spokes would conflict with each other, may not understand each other, and would hurt me in the end.  I also keep them separated because I seek out different things from each group that make most of them mutually exclusive for me.  I don't like mixing those groups because the mix rarely goes well.

At times I wish I could be as open as the friend with the sphere universe.  I think it is healthier because she has fewer secrets or perceived needs for them.  For me though, I can't do it.  I was raised this way and it is an atomized part of my essence.

It takes a lot of my energy to maintain my spoke universe and even though I am decent at keeping everything separated, the parts do bleed through to one another on occasion.  One such area is my art.  If you spend enough time looking at it, you can see what I try to keep hidden from other areas.  Maybe my reluctance to change is partly due to me not wanting to give up one of my internal muses, my secrets that make up most of my art and expression. 

The last song from the last Beatles performance on the roof of the Apple Offices- Get Back

I left my heart in NYC... last year. Part 3 - Valya

Valya - 0621111

On my penultimate night, I met up with Valya, a model from Brooklyn.  We had discussed concepts ahead of time and got to creating photos right away.  Valya gave me her best stuff to photograph.  One of her many qualities I appreciated were her nuanced emotions and expressions that while subtle, told volumes.

Valya had a photo shoot in Baltimore that morning, caught the train back to New York and met me for our session.  Her work ethic and passion for creating erotic, conceptual art and experimenting at the end of a full day shows how important this is to her.

This ends my small series reminiscing on my trip to New York last year.  Goddamn, I love that city, its museums, buildings, culture, attitude and the people I met and created art with there.  My fellow students, instructor, Valya and Moon, and the thousands of characters in my own New York love story that I saw every day made it a life-changing trip.  Thanks.


Valya's Blog - Highly recommended.

I left my heart in NYC... last year. Part 1 - Moon Marie

Moon - 061711a

I know Tony Bennett sings a different belief of where his heart is, but my mine is in NYC.  It has been one year since I went there with a class for a week long adventure.  Over the next few days I will post a few new pics from that trip.  For today's post I want to reflect on my work with Moon Marie.

On my third night I worked with the great model, Moon Marie.  We tried many different settings, poses, themes and intents.  I appreciated her attention to detail, staging and direction.  During the first break, I realized I shot the first hour at the wrong ISO - 2500.  She was very agreeable to stay an extra hour to redo some of the shots.  Her professional attitude made it a pleasure to work with and her enthusiasm for trying new things made the session fun.

Moon - 061711b

I am not sure if I like the black and white or color versions of this photo.  One thing for sure, Moon is a beauty.

Moon's blog - I am honored one of our photos is there.  

A couple more of Candace Nirvana

Candace Nirvana - 061411

Candace Nirvana - 061411

Back in February I had the privilege to work with Candace Nirvana again.  I HIGHLY RECOMMEND HER!  She always brings her top talents and makes magic happen.  I will let these two shots speak for themselves.

Almost back

Flowers - 052511

I just finished my last final last night.  Work is going crazy right now and I am putting in an extra two hours per night and 8-10 hours per weekend.  Once I get caught up, I plan to write more.  I have a lot of stuff I want to write about from my art and photography courses.  I also look forward to getting caught up reading my friend's blogs.

Until then, stop and smell the flowers.

*Enlightenment vs. Dogma

SF MoMA - 102810-2

SF MoMA - 102810-2

 

On this date in 1553>  Michael Servetus, who discovered the pulmonary circulation of blood, is burned for heresy in Switzerland.  History Channel "This Day in History" update.

It is scary how people are still so afraid of science and what we are learning from it. I am not proclaiming against any one faith.  I wish though we could be a bit more open minded.  Maybe that is what separates the "elitists" from the others, openness to being wrong and learning more.

 For many ignorance is bliss and dogma is absolute.

 

(Still on break due to finals and crazy work schedules.  I hope to be writing again next week)

Put a nude on it.

Porcelain Figurine - 050111

I recently saw an episode of the IFC sketch show Portlandia.  One sketch is based on those cheesy decoration/arts and crafts shows (think of low budget Martha Stewart) where the two main characters paint birds on everything to spruce them up (at bottom).  I laughed at it so hard and started thinking of photography.  After perusing a few websites, I found I could switch out the "bird" for nude.  Put a nude on it.

I've read articles about the nude photo cliches (gas masks, railroad tracks, hand bras, angel wings, etc.) and thought more about where the nude model was photographed than what she was wearing or doing.  Put a nude on it.

There is a rock - put a nude on it.  Hey, is that a railroad track - put a nude on it.  OOOOO, a crashing wave, put a nude on it.  You get my point.

I am not disparaging all scenic nude art, just much of the copycat/uninspired versions of it.  Why did you put a nude there?  (Even that questions is a clue to the answer.)  It all depends on the intent of the artist.  Is the nude an integral element of the photo, or did you just put a nude on it?

My photographer friend Griffin both models and photographs nudes in urban/suburban settings outside of churches, police stations, etc.  He creates his "guerrilla" nudes to make a statement about sexuality and transgressing the social norms of public/religious institutions of the politically conservative California town he lives in.  His nudes are an integral part of the photo.  Both the nude and the other elements need each other to complete the image and the series.  He isn't simply putting a nude on it.

Going to the other extreme of put a nude on it is the cultural icon of the little silver lady on the mud flap.  I am sure you have passed an 18 wheeler with these little ladies on them.  There really is no significance or purpose for putting the anatomically impossible lady on the mud flap.   She is little more than decoration.  It is this intent of using a nude as decoration then that separates an artistic nude from put a nude on it.

I was going to use a few of my own photos to illustrate my point.  I am guilty of having put a nude on it, but I am not going to show those for two reasons.  First, I respect the models too much to put one of those up.  Second, those images were all parts of sessions that yielded good stuff and I redacted them from the final group for that reason, they were weak photos.  As a photographer, I need to continually strive to show my best work, not just the kind-of good stuff.

*Fremont District - Las Vegas, NV

Fremont District - Las Vegas - 2010

We went to Vegas again this last weekend.  These are some photos from a trip there last summer.  This city is really growing on me.  It isn't the glamor or the gambling.  It is something about seeing so many itches being scratched.

The rest of the stuff below is from my old blog. 

We went to Las Vegas last summer to celebrate our anniversary.  Even though we stayed in the faux New York New York, we spent much of the time on the old side of the Strip, especially on Fremont Street.  I really like the old side of Vegas and saddened a bit that they renovated a big chunk of it into a big outdoor mall.  I guess it helped save the area though and keeps tourists visiting that side compared to the mega casino side of the Strip, where our hotel was.

El Cortez Hotel - Las Vegas - 2010

The El Cortez Hotel is an old school casino...  or old school to me.  It has a Subway Sub in it.  That is healthiest thing in that place.

Beauty Bar - Las Vegas - 2010

The Beauty Bar (Salon of Beauty) is a great hot spot with a 60's style beauty shop theme inside.  They have cheap drinks and the best alternative music in Vegas (or at least the little bit of Vegas I saw.)  It is a great little hip place where youngins and oldins' (like me) are welcomed.  The concerts in the back lot are hot as hell, even on a summer night.  Great music.

Lady on the ceiling - Las Vegas - 2010

The ceiling of the renovated covered walking mall is a long screen showing music, dancing and sexy ladies eating cherries.   I would guess she is 15 feel tall in that photo, just to give a bit of size perspective.  I am not a big fan of this part of the Fremont experience, but it gave me good light to take photos with.

Showgirls -  Las Vegas - 2010

God bless the showgirls.  There were a number of street performers out there that night, including a few Elvises, mimes, and two beautiful showgirls that put on short routines and posed with the tourists for tips. There is something about fishnets and hot pink boas that seems at home in Las Vegas.

Cowboy in lights - Las Vegas - 2010

I forgot the name of this cowboy and the cowgirl below.  They are Vegas landmarks and I am glad they are preserved.  The advertising under the cowgirl tells of the modern age of this sin city.

Cowgirl in lights - indeed - Las Vegas - 2010

Emergency Arts - Las Vegas - 2010

Emergency Arts was a bastion of sanity for me.  It is a former clinic that houses a number of art galleries and a great little coffee shop that plays old LPs and has delicious healthy sandwiches.  As a tourist, it is hard to eat healthy in Vegas.  There is a great little museum/display inside honoring the art of burlesque and its history in Nevada entertainment.  I will post photos from there at another time.

Dinner Company - Las Vegas - 2010

We were starving by the end of the night and found a great little taqueria open late.  It was as bright and colorful inside as the strip.  Elvis, the tall black lady dancer, and the little lady in the shot glass looked over our meal from the shelf by our table.

I love Las Vegas.  I don't really gamble or take in the big shows, but the little things there are precious gems.  This is another great city that I need to get back to.  Terrell over at Photo Anthems Blog lives in a great place.

I love this country.

Grand Central Station - NYC

I hate politics. I despise the vitriol poisoning common discourse.  I hate the fear mongering.  I hate the growing culture war.  I fear the backstabbing in Washington will only lead to a weak, sick nation, but...

Palm Springs, CA

I love this country.  I love the geography, the diversity, and the cultures.  I love how I can get in my car and drive everywhere that my gas money allows and see it.  I love that even though I am a Californian and many disagree with the politics of my state, I am still an American.  I am an American, for better or for worse. 

Why am I declaring the love for this country?  Call me a sentimental sap, but I saw a great Magnum photo essay called America the Beautiful and it made me realize how much I appreciate the grandness of this country.  Whether I am in Queens New York or at a Holiday Inn hotel in Sioux City, I know I am in my country. 

Donna's Ranch - Wells, NV

I really need a road trip and follow the inspiration of Robert Frank.

Duck Lake Road outside of Glacier Park, MT

*A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

California Delta Fence - 041211

If you didn't grow up in agriculture/livestock regions, you may not know the main purpose of barbwire fences.  You would think they are there to keep predators away from your livestock. That is a part of it.  The main purpose of barbwire fences is to keep your livestock in a controlled area and prevent them from running away, getting hit by a vehicle, or mingling with your neighbors herd.   The invention of barbwire transformed the West from wild openness to closed agriculture empires.

Joshua Tree National Park - 041211

There are so many barbwire fences in our lives - things meant to keep us in.  Seat belts, social norms, sidewalks (to keep us from wandering into the streets), offices, cubicles, etc.  Our houses are our places to live our lives without intruding into the public.  I can get naked, dress, eat, read, watch tv, view porn, make love, scratch, belch, go to the bathroom, yell, listen to music, and do my personal stuff at home without it escaping into the world. 

I am neither a fence builder nor a fence wrecker.  We need them for safety and privacy.  They also hinder us from exploring out of bounds -  like kids learning to use crayons in coloring book and told "stay in the lines".  Barbwire is designed to scratch and cut both ways... those trying to get in and those trying to get out.  Nobody ever straddles or sits on barbwire fence due to indecisiveness due to the rusty barbs.  Either you are in or out.  The question becomes, when is it right to get out?