Little deaths.

Leila and Hana - 111612

Little deaths around me.
This memory, that relationship, those opportunities.
Some die slow and quietly from neglect or lack of need or use.
Others snuff out instantly, screaming or just a soft whimper.
Some by my hands, some theirs'.
Leaves falling from a tree can't go back.
 

Sex and death

Valya - 111012

Memento mori is a Latin phrase translated as "Remember your mortality", "Remember you must die" or "Remember you will die". It refers to a genre of artworks that vary widely but which all share the same purpose: to remind people of their mortality, an artistic theme dating back to antiquity. - Wikipedia

Maybe it is watching the dead leaves fall from the trees.  I am feeling the connections between life and death more and more.  I've written about the connection between sex and the universe, spirituality, and connection to the greater.  I also wrote briefly about the French term for orgasm, le petit mort, "the little death" or the "...spiritual release that comes with orgasm or to a short period of melancholy or transcendence as a result of the expenditure of the 'life force'" (Wikipedia, again)

I am now going to write about the connection I feel between sex and death.  It isn't that sex can kill or lead to death for me,  but more of an overall acceptance of both in my life.  Sex is a part of me as much as my heart, my eyes, my penis, and my soul.  It is part of me and I am part of it.  For me, sex is life and life is sex, but also a cousin to death. 

While some may argue that the opposite of life is death, death comes only from a life ending.  Life has no real meaning if we don't face death.  Sex is part of it all.  Sex creates life.  Life leads to death.  The circle seems a perverse threesome. 

Death is just a tad bit younger than life and it is one of the oldest organic conditions in our existence. Maybe by connecting sex to creating new life, the opposite of death, the orgasm gives us a taste of both in the blissful moment.- me

Sex makes me feel more alive than ever, especially during it.  Afterward though, during the post-glow quietness, I feel closer to my mortality.  It is an acceptance and a reminder that I am a little closer to it, at least one orgasm closer.  It is not a morose feeling, just an acknowledgement and acceptance of it being in my future.  Maybe that is why I feel closer to the universe during and after sex.  A small part of sex plays a role in the painting of my life.  It is the little skull in the corner acting as my momento mori.  It is me feeling alive and in some small way dieing just a little bit inside me.

Our American City - New York

From Hoboken, NJ - 111012

If you read my stuff, you know I love, am in love with, and have an infatuation with New York City.  I've walked the streets, ate the food, photographed the place, and always feel a longing to return.  I can't claim I know it or am from there though although I feel myself desiring it again.

Valya - 111012

When the news kept coming back about Sandy's devastation to it, I instantly felt my heart sink.  I was there almost exactly a year ago and enjoyed the brisk November weather.  Now, I worried about all the people I know there.  Some had damage, some are cold and in the dark, but all are holding up.   I emailed Valya and she said her power was out, but she and her family were OK out in Brooklyn.

New York has a resilience that is unique to itself.  It can take one right on the chin, get up, tell the hurricane to, "go fuck itself", and then eventually go back to being New York.

New York - once you get back up again, I will be back.  I love you.

Does size matter?

Tiana and Truck - 110912

What is the right length for a blog post?  Should it be as long as the stories published in Vanity Fair" that go on for pages with densely written text deeply exploring a topic?  Should it be closer to a newspaper article that provides a solid overview of a topic, but not going into depth?  Should it be closer to a Facebook update that pretty much is status update?  Should I even be comparing it to written things and look to other expressive outlets like tv, movies, podcasts and vodcasts?

A good friend of mine from high school and I are thinking of starting a blog.  It will be for artistic growth and sharing knowledge and will also be for promoting our collaborations with commercial goals.  I've never done a partnership blog and am very excited about this opportunity.  One aspect we need to address is what is the best way to lure in readers, viewers, and potential customers with content that is rich, valuable, and appreciated without either giving away too much or going too deep without being too shallow and vapid?

We are at the very beginning stages of all this.  One thing we need to work on is defining our audience.  This will help us determine what we write and share.  We want smart, sexy, people that appreciate art, erotica, and are not afraid of exploring edgy issues and will want more.  What are the right hooks to attract them?

We need to think about how much do we give out and how much do we sell.  If we create a book, we would be stupid to show all the images online and give it away.  If we have erotic stories or essays about the topic that will be compiled into something more, we can't give it all away either.

This morning, I watched a trailer for the new Bond movie, Skyfall.  It is a very good trailer.  It showed just enough to get the idea of what the movie promises without giving away the story by showing all the key developments.  I hate seeing  movie trailers that pretty much synopsizes the whole movie by showing all the good bits.  While this trailer is great for a singular offering of one movie, an online equivalent for a blog requires a bit more than a tease.  Blogs are periodicals, movies are events.  We will need to find that balancing point of giving richness to our readers and yet leaving them wanting to go beyond the blog and explore what we created and buy it.  Where is that fine line between just stringing someone along vs. giving away the whole cow?

Where have you been?

Tiana - 110912

I've been a busy boy/photographer.  I wont bore you by regaling you with all the arduous details.  The big thing is that I have my photos up in two galleries and a local coffee shop.  They are three very different series out there, so I am proud to have so many different pieces out there.

ECHO Gallery - Calistoga, Ca

I am excited that I am getting my stuff out there.  It feels good that others are seeing them.  While they are my tamer photos, some still have an edge to them.   I need to find venues for sharing my nude/erotic work. 

In other news, I got a new Epson 3880 printer.  There is something rich about holding a physical print rather than just seeing its pixel sibling.

None of this post is too deep or profound.  I need to get into some meaty topics in the near future.  I also hope to have my "I Objectify Women..." series completed in the next month and will have to share some of it here.  There is also the election to write about.  Oh  yeah, erotica, sex, sensuality, and carnal mayhem are always fun too.

 

Java Jax - Vallejo, CA

Java Jax - Vallejo, CA

Photo note - Tiana was a great model.  I hope to work wither her again in the new year.

I love the energy of this song.

Sunshine on my shoulders...

Tiana -  101712

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high. - John Denver

John Denver's somewhat sappy song makes sense at times.  I grew up listening to my mom's John Denver album and always paused to soak in this song.  It wasn't so much that the lyrics had meaning to me, but the Taize nature of the song pacified me for the moment.

If you know me, you know I am not a big fan of standing out in the sun.  I actually hate just standing or sitting in the sun.  It is hot and it makes me cranky.  With that said, there are times though I appreciate turning my face to the source of all organic energy on earth and relishing in its warmth.

The price of branding and exposure.

Valya - 092612

I am in a conundrum.  To become a better artist and to try to make a living from it I have to promote myself more. I appreciate and understand that, but where is the balance?  How much of this exposure is about my product or about my own personal brand?  What is the price of branding and exposure?

A friend gave us an beautiful original platinum print a few years ago of a young Mexican woman standing by a fountain in a plaza.  That is a definite description of the product and could mean the print is worth a few dollars or a few thousand.  With just this description though, I would only pay the lower end of the spectrum.

A friend gave us a beautiful original Edward Weston platinum print of Frida Kahlo.  Just that sentence alone increased the photo's value substantially.  It has two very powerful names with Edward Weston as the photographer and Frida Kahlo as the subject.  It bears both their brands.

When building a personal brand, the creator's personality, accomplishments, failures, challenges, likes and dislikes, and creations are built into the brand.   Think about Edward Weston's brand - black and white modern photographer and pioneer of the art, fine-art nude photographer pioneer, lived in the US and Mexico, often took photos of his lovers or had intimate relationships with his models, part of the California photography movement, co-founder of the Group f/64, and so on.  He was temperamental, had estranged children, and other personal challenges.  All of this has become part of his legend and his brand and helps ensure his art continues to hold or gain value.

Out of all the prints I've sold, I've never heard anyone say, "I own a Sutphin photo."  I would probably hear, "I have a great photo of horses and windmills that I bought from this guy in California."  Only people that know me personally and know my work have a chance of looking at a photo of mine and being able to identify it by style, content, etc., that it is one of mine.  Most others just see the content.   My branding is weak in two ways, no one recognizes my name to my art and no one can look at my art and identify it as mine. 

Rocky Mountain Front near Heart Butte, Blackfoot Indian Reservation, Montana - 092612

The answer appears very simple - get my work and name out there.  Promote, promote, promote.  The cost of it though is what do I associate with my name?   I see I can have at least two very different categories of clients, starting with portraits and erotic fine-art photography.  I doubt my clients for either group really care of or for the other type of work I do.  Do I hide one (probably the nudes) to grow my other brand and business?  Am I ready for my personal history, warts and all, to become part of my brand?  Is my history exciting enough to add to my brand?  I think about this because as someone's notoriety grows, so does his/her exposure and discovery of personal history.  Both my friends/clients and my competition are going to want to know about me if my art star rises.  How will this information of my work and life affect those around me?

It is sad that we can't embrace sexuality, sensuality, and eroticism as an open art form without worrying about fall out from it.  I greatly lament this, but it is the reality and I must figure out my niche and how I can exploit it.  It's easy for me to think I wont worry about what others think of me, but if I want to grow my brand, I need to be concerned about it's value and appearance as well.  As much as I am growing into accepting who I am and trying not to worry what others think, that nagging worry will always be there.