Little deaths.

Leila and Hana - 111612
Little deaths around me.
This memory, that relationship, those opportunities.
Some die slow and quietly from neglect or lack of need or use.
Others snuff out instantly, screaming or just a soft whimper.
Some by my hands, some theirs'.
Leaves falling from a tree can't go back.


Sex and death

Valya - 111012

Memento mori is a Latin phrase translated as "Remember your mortality", "Remember you must die" or "Remember you will die". It refers to a genre of artworks that vary widely but which all share the same purpose: to remind people of their mortality, an artistic theme dating back to antiquity. - Wikipedia
Maybe it is watching the dead leaves fall from the trees.  I am feeling the connections between life and death more and more.  I've written about the connection between sex and the universe, spirituality, and connection to the greater.  I also wrote briefly about the French term for orgasm, le petit mort, "the little death" or the "...spiritual release that comes with orgasm or to a short period of melancholy or transcendence as a result of the expenditure of the 'life force'" (Wikipedia, again)

I am now going to write about the connection I feel between sex and death.  It isn't that sex can kill or lead to death for me,  but more of an overall acceptance of both in my life.  Sex is a part of me as much as my heart, my eyes, my penis, and my soul.  It is part of me and I am part of it.  For me, sex is life and life is sex, but also a cousin to death. 

While some may argue that the opposite of life is death, death comes only from a life ending.  Life has no real meaning if we don't face death.  Sex is part of it all.  Sex creates life.  Life leads to death.  The circle seems a perverse threesome. 
Death is just a tad bit younger than life and it is one of the oldest organic conditions in our existence. Maybe by connecting sex to creating new life, the opposite of death, the orgasm gives us a taste of both in the blissful moment.- me
Sex makes me feel more alive than ever, especially during it.  Afterward though, during the post-glow quietness, I feel closer to my mortality.  It is an acceptance and a reminder that I am a little closer to it, at least one orgasm closer.  It is not a morose feeling, just an acknowledgement and acceptance of it being in my future.  Maybe that is why I feel closer to the universe during and after sex.  A small part of sex plays a role in the painting of my life.  It is the little skull in the corner acting as my momento mori.  It is me feeling alive and in some small way dieing just a little bit inside me.


Our American City - New York

From Hoboken, NJ - 111012

If you read my stuff, you know I love, am in love with, and have an infatuation with New York City.  I've walked the streets, ate the food, photographed the place, and always feel a longing to return.  I can't claim I know it or am from there though although I feel myself desiring it again.
Valya - 111012

When the news kept coming back about Sandy's devastation to it, I instantly felt my heart sink.  I was there almost exactly a year ago and enjoyed the brisk November weather.  Now, I worried about all the people I know there.  Some had damage, some are cold and in the dark, but all are holding up.   I emailed Valya and she said her power was out, but she and her family were OK out in Brooklyn.

New York has a resilience that is unique to itself.  It can take one right on the chin, get up, tell the hurricane to, "go fuck itself", and then eventually go back to being New York.

New York - once you get back up again, I will be back.  I love you.


Does size matter?

Tiana and Truck - 110912

What is the right length for a blog post?  Should it be as long as the stories published in Vanity Fair" that go on for pages with densely written text deeply exploring a topic?  Should it be closer to a newspaper article that provides a solid overview of a topic, but not going into depth?  Should it be closer to a Facebook update that pretty much is status update?  Should I even be comparing it to written things and look to other expressive outlets like tv, movies, podcasts and vodcasts?

A good friend of mine from high school and I are thinking of starting a blog.  It will be for artistic growth and sharing knowledge and will also be for promoting our collaborations with commercial goals.  I've never done a partnership blog and am very excited about this opportunity.  One aspect we need to address is what is the best way to lure in readers, viewers, and potential customers with content that is rich, valuable, and appreciated without either giving away too much or going too deep without being too shallow and vapid?

We are at the very beginning stages of all this.  One thing we need to work on is defining our audience.  This will help us determine what we write and share.  We want smart, sexy, people that appreciate art, erotica, and are not afraid of exploring edgy issues and will want more.  What are the right hooks to attract them?

We need to think about how much do we give out and how much do we sell.  If we create a book, we would be stupid to show all the images online and give it away.  If we have erotic stories or essays about the topic that will be compiled into something more, we can't give it all away either.

This morning, I watched a trailer for the new Bond movie, Skyfall.  It is a very good trailer.  It showed just enough to get the idea of what the movie promises without giving away the story by showing all the key developments.  I hate seeing  movie trailers that pretty much synopsizes the whole movie by showing all the good bits.  While this trailer is great for a singular offering of one movie, an online equivalent for a blog requires a bit more than a tease.  Blogs are periodicals, movies are events.  We will need to find that balancing point of giving richness to our readers and yet leaving them wanting to go beyond the blog and explore what we created and buy it.  Where is that fine line between just stringing someone along vs. giving away the whole cow?


Where have you been?

Tiana - 110912

I've been a busy boy/photographer.  I wont bore you by regaling you with all the arduous details.  The big thing is that I have my photos up in two galleries and a local coffee shop.  They are three very different series out there, so I am proud to have so many different pieces out there.
ECHO Gallery - Calistoga, Ca

I am excited that I am getting my stuff out there.  It feels good that others are seeing them.  While they are my tamer photos, some still have an edge to them.   I need to find venues for sharing my nude/erotic work. 

In other news, I got a new Epson 3880 printer.  There is something rich about holding a physical print rather than just seeing its pixel sibling.

None of this post is too deep or profound.  I need to get into some meaty topics in the near future.  I also hope to have my "I Objectify Women..." series completed in the next month and will have to share some of it here.  There is also the election to write about.  Oh  yeah, erotica, sex, sensuality, and carnal mayhem are always fun too.

Java Jax - Vallejo, CA
Java Jax - Vallejo, CA

Photo note - Tiana was a great model.  I hope to work wither her again in the new year.

I love the energy of this song.