I am back...

Me(out of focus) - 102013

...finally.  I have not published here since late February and I have missed it.  There are many reasons and excuses for neglecting this space, but as a wizened friend told me once, "There is a difference between reasons and excuses."  Some of these excuses/reasons are superficial and some are deeply personal.

As you may remember, I started another blog with a friend, shadowsexposed.com.  It is going well and  I am enjoying it.  It continues to focus on the life and art erotic.  While that takes some time to create, it should not have pulled me away from this blog and life, and it didn't.  I did that to myself.

Without going into the details,

I had a nervous/psychological breakdown (with even a psychologists diagnosis to go with it) in April and May.  I hit that moment head on and went through the windshield of depression, anxiety and other mental pains due to a mix of my own failures, fractures, and defense mechanisms.  I hurt myself psychologically and hurt those around me as well.

I am not going into the details yet because I want to write about them in the future as part of the putting it into my past and discovering who I really am.  I am planning to explore these parts of me through new art, this blog, further therapy, meditation, praying, introspection, and deep reflection.  Not all will be shared here, because some just wont work well in this medium.

I am doing much better now and I believe the traumatic part of it is behind me.  The next steps are to continue the healing and to make sure it never happens again by learning from what I did wrong.

For my long-time readers; along with these reflective pieces, I still plan to share some humor, a few nudes,and art that has nothing to do with the dark times.  One thing I am learning is that it is important to feed those parts of my life that make it beautiful, fun and worth living.

PS - During that time, a long-time blog friend reached out and shared care and concern, which I deeply appreciated.  Thanks you.

PSS- The beard is for Halloween.  I can't wait to shave it off November 1st.